Slides

Hi 💞

This course teaches ways to manage self-harm.
It's free — and completely anonymous.

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Now we’ll ask just a few questions about how you’re feeling right now.

Please share how much you agree or disagree with the following statements based on how you're feeling right now, in this moment.

I feel that the future is hopeless and that things cannot improve.

My future seems dark to me.

Things just won’t work out the way I want them to.

There’s no use in really trying to get something I want, because I probably won’t get it.

At this moment, how ready are you to work towards improving your mental health?

0 Not at all ready

10 Completely ready

Thank you for answering these questions 💞

Now let's get started...

We'll start with something super easy...

True or False:

Hating ourselves makes it harder to cope with negative emotions.

Correct

It's really hard to cope when we feel like we hate ourselves or even deserve to feel badly.

Actually, it's really hard to cope when we feel like we hate ourselves or even deserve to feel badly.

A recent study asked young adults if they ever felt like they deserved pain or punishment.

How many do you think said "Yes"?

Actually, it's 68%.
And 17% reported purposefully harming themselves.

You're right — and 17% reported purposefully harming themselves.

Sometimes, people hurt themselves to calm feelings of self-hatred...

Or because they feel like they deserve to be punished or to feel pain...

But even if hurting ourselves makes things feel better for a moment, it actually makes us feel worse over time.

Here's what can happen...

First we feel bad about something...

then we hurt ourselves...

then we feel worse...

then we hurt ourselves again...

... and then we feel even worse! It's a negative spiral!

The important thing is: you never have to hurt yourself.

... even when you experience self-hatred.

So... how can we stop it?

The answer is based in...

BRAIN SCIENCE!

Our brains are made up of neurons.

They send signals to each other to make sense of what’s going on. Over time, these signals form connections.

Your neurons are constantly rewiring themselves and making new connections.

They form new links anytime we feel something, think something, or do something.

This can be a problem...

If we feel self-hatred and we respond with self-harm...

Our brains start to associate self-hate with self harm.

A new link is created!

This link sends signals to hurt ourselves the next time we feel self-hate.

This is how the negative spiral gets started!

But this link can be changed!

Your brain is always forming new links between emotions, thoughts and actions.

We can use this to our advantage...

Every time we don’t hurt ourselves (even if we really want to), we create new links.

Over time, the connection between self-hate and self-harm will fade.

But it's hard to make a change like this.

It's especially hard if self-harm is a coping strategy we’ve relied on for a long time (the link is stronger).

Here are some reasons people find it hard to stop self-harming.

Which makes most sense to you? (pick just one)

What's one barrier that could make it harder for you to stop hurting yourself?

Write one sentence below

It is completely understandable to want to feel better quickly. Feelings of self-hate can be really tough to deal with.

But there are other ways to cope with tough emotions that might work for you.

Our bodies have something called a Parasympathetic Nervous System, or “PNS”.

It helps us calm down after moments of high stress by lowering our heart rate and blood pressure quickly.

The good news is, you can activate your PNS very quickly by using one of many strategies...

Try this: put your face or hands in a bowl of ice or very cold water. Or put an ice pack over your eyelids.

This may sound weird, but it's a great trick that more people should know about. It activates your PNS very quickly and can calm you down without resorting to self-harm.

You can also:

Pace your breathing. Follow this gif a few times and see how you feel.

... or relax your muscles (tense your muscles while breathing in, and relax while breathing out) 😌

Here's an example of how to do this properly. Bookmark it and try it out!

That’s a tough spot to be in at any point, and we’re sorry that’s where you’re at.

There are some options to consider...

Even if your thoughts or feelings seem impossible to change, you can always change how you act.

This makes other types of change possible, too.

Changing our actions can change our thoughts and feelings.

If you stop hurting yourself at least once (even if you don't want to), your inner voice might start to change.

Your actions will affect your thoughts.

And if you stop again and again, you may feel less self-hatred over time.

Let's check out some proven ways to regulate your thoughts and feelings, without resorting to self harm....

Our bodies have something called a Parasympathetic Nervous System, or “PNS”.

It helps us calm down after moments of high stress by lowering our heart rate and blood pressure quickly.

The good news is, you can activate your PNS very quickly by using one of many strategies...

Try this: put your face or hands in a bowl of ice or very cold water. Or put an ice pack over your eyelids.

This may sound weird, but it's a great trick that more people should know about. It activates your PNS very quickly and can calm you down without resorting to self-harm.

You can also:

Pace your breathing. Follow this gif a few times and see how you feel. Or breathe in for 4 seconds and breathe out for 8.

... or relax your muscles (tense your muscles while breathing in, and relax while breathing out) 😌

Here's an example of how to do this properly. Bookmark it and try it out!

Here's what someone on Koko said:

"I can feel like I’m a horrible person and still not harm myself for it. Just because I’m having these feelings doesn’t mean I have to act on them.

I started focusing all of my energy on breathing through my urges to self-harm, and I looked for literally anything else to do until the moment passed."

We asked others to share what helps them resist self-harming. Pick some ideas that might work for you.

Choose as many as you like

You chose:

Please take a screenshot of this.
Write this on a post-it or something.

Try this the next time you feel an urge to self-harm. Just think of it as an experiment and do it a few times.

OK, we're almost done! Let's review for a second...

When we change how we act, it breaks the brain’s link between self-hate and hurting ourselves.

When we have an urge to self-harm, we can target our PNS directly. We can calm our body with breathing, exercise, ice cubes etc.

We can use other strategies as well, like:

OK, now let's put this into practice...

Check out what someone else shared:

"I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago and i miss him a lot. I hate myself. I let someone so precious walked away. Now he's enjoying his life unlike me lol. I want to hurt myself so bad rn."

What would you say to them? What could they do instead of self-harming?

Please write 2-3 sentences.

Thank you! Almost done, let's finish strong!