Slides

Welcome 💗

This course is about protecting your LGBTQ+ pride in the face of hate.

Created by researchers with diverse gender, sexuality, race and ethnicity, disability, and religious identities.

It's free and anonymous.

Before we begin, a quick note:

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Choose "I agree" below if you agree to the terms of service and warrant that you are 13 years of age or older.

Now we’ll ask just a few questions about how you’re feeling right now.

Please share how much you agree or disagree with the following statements based on how you're feeling right now, in this moment.

I feel that the future is hopeless and that things cannot improve.

My future seems dark to me.

Things just won’t work out the way I want them to.

There’s no use in really trying to get something I want, because I probably won’t get it.

At this moment, how ready are you to work towards improving your mental health?

0 Not at all ready

10 Completely ready

Thank you for answering these questions 💞

Now let's get started...

Sometimes, it's hard to explain who you are without worrying how it will land.

Maybe other people decide who you are before you even finish a sentence.

Maybe you've learned about which parts of yourself you feel safe to show.

When do you call your boyfriend your "partner", so it goes unnoticed? When is it ok to share your pronouns?

It's exhausting.

So, for the next couple of minutes, you don't have to filter anything.

We'll help you create a plan for protecting your self and sanity when the world feels loud.

First, think about who you are.

The parts people notice first: like your race, gender, or the way you talk...

...and then the parts of you it takes more trust to share.

Like who you like, and how you see yourself.

Who you are is made up of all of these parts.

Your identity includes your roles, background, gender, sexuality, personality, interests, abilities, mind, and circumstances.

Do any of these describe you?

Choose as many as you like

Understanding identity can feel overwhelming...

You probably already know more than you'd like...

The world has a lot of opinions about who you are.

Especially when who you are doesn't fit what others call "normal".

Some differences don't get much hate, like being an only child.

Being an only child technically makes you a "minority" (85% of people have at least one sibling). But no one really gets hate for it.

Other parts of who you are, like your gender identity or sexuality, are different.

And even though there is literally nothing wrong with any part of who you are...

The world has a long history of reacting with hate to what it doesn't understand.

Think back to some of the identities you shared.

Which of these reactions have you felt, seen, or noticed happen to others like you?

Choose as many as you like

If you've ever faced these reactions, you know they can add up.

You're not imagining it. This kind of stress is real and it has a name.

It's called "minority stress".

Here's some examples of minority stress from young people:

"At school I act one way. But around family, I switch how I talk, how I dress. It’s like I’m two versions of myself."

"It’s exhausting trying to fit in. Too brown for the queer group, too queer for my cousins. I end up quiet everywhere."

Over time, minority stress can start to live in your body and shape how you move through the world.

Think about times you've experienced stress. How does your body respond?

Your response to stress can be helpful in short bursts, for survival.

But when your body's "alarm system" is turned on too long (like when you're constantly on edge or hiding who you are) it can wear you down.

It's not in your head. Your hormones, sleep, breathing, and even skin all feel it, too.

But science knows ways to help your body re-regulate, despite all the noise. 🧠🚨

Moving your body or changing your body's temperature helps regulate your biological alarm bells.

Going for a walk or run, taking a cold shower can reset your system when it's in overload.

Even something as small as slowing your breathing can give your body a bit of a break.

Hear us out: try breathing even just a little bit deeper here.

Calming your body's biological alarms doesn't magically solve everything.

(It would be wild if we said it did.)

It just gives your mind a fighting chance to protect your energy and decide what's next.

Rest is resistance.

You're making great progress 💗

We've learned how to identify minority stress in the body – and how to reset it.

Like moving your body, changing its temperature, or deepening your breath.

It's not just your body.

Minority stress can also impact your mind and how you view yourself.

Sometimes, negative messages from others causes bad feelings about ourselves 😔

Minority stress lives inside thoughts like:

"there is something wrong with me"
"I wish I was different"
"I'm too much"

When people treat you badly because of who you are, or tell you that your identity is "wrong", you may start to believe them.

But what they're saying simply isn't true.

You're simply reacting to a world that keeps making you prove you belong.

But it's not your identity that's the problem.

It's the stress of constantly facing people, systems, and spaces that treat difference like it's wrong.

And while you can't control others' bias, you can protect your energy and health.

Let's look at some examples of how other LGBTQ+ young people may try challenging minority stress in their lives...

Choose a story to learn more.

One anonymous user came out as nonbinary in 8th grade. They asked friends to use they/them pronouns.

Their friends didn’t understand and often used the wrong ones, making them feel unseen and upset.

They think: "this is my fault, I've asked my friends for too much" 😔💔

They start to feel angry, and to resent their identity.

Before hanging out, their nerves made them nauseous. But they pretended the misgendering didn't bother them at all.

They stopped doing things that made them feel good, like going to the gym.

But deep down, they want their friends to know their misgendering has hurt them. ❤️‍🩹

It’s important to know that it’s not ok that their friends keep misgendering them.

Ideally, friends would make them feel heard and respected. And a lack of understanding about gender adds extra stress for trans and nonbinary teens.

And, they can still reflect on what they feel, want, and need to help get through this stressful time.

How might they reset their body, so they can figure out next steps?

Stress made them nauseous.

What's something they could do to re-regulate and stay grounded? 🌀

Choose as many as you like

How might they think to reflect on their feelings, wants, and needs?

At first they thought, "this is my fault".

What would their new self-talk sound like? 💭

Choose as many as you like

How might they act to reflect on their feelings, wants, and needs?

At first, they pretended to be unbothered by their friends' misgendering and stopped self-care.

What types of new things would they do? ⚡️

Choose as many as you like

Amazing work, thanks for helping them!

One anonymous user is Asian-American and queer. She's joined her school's Gender & Sexuality Alliance.

However, the group often focuses on White LGBTQ+ experiences and ignores how race and queer identity overlap.

She shared how she's bullied for being both queer and Asian.

But others brushed it off, saying her experience is “the same” since she was born in the U.S. This left her feeling invisible, angry, and alone.

She thinks: "No one gets it. Why can't I just let things go?" 😔💔

She starts to feel frustrated with herself and embarrassed for speaking up.

She still attends group meetings, but sits quietly in the back. She bottles up how she's feeling, and the stress starts to keep her up at night.

But deep down, she wants to connect with people who will make an effort to understand her experiences. ❤️‍🩹

It’s important to recognize that it’s not okay for the group to minimize her racial identity.

Ideally, the group would help her feel heard and respected. A lack of understanding about race and racism adds extra stress for queer People of Color.

And, she can still reflect on what she feels, wants, and needs to help get through this stressful time.

How might she reset her body, so she can figure out next steps?

Stress kept her tense and awake at night.

What's something she could do to re-regulate and stay grounded? 🌀

Choose as many as you like

How might she think to reflect on her feelings, wants, and needs?

At first she thought, "why can't I let things go".

What would her new self-talk sound like? 💭

Choose as many as you like

How might she act to reflect on her feelings, wants, and needs?

At first, she disconnects from others and starts losing sleep.

What types of new things would she do? ⚡️

Choose as many as you like

Amazing work, thanks for helping her!

One anonymous user is transgender but hasn’t come out to anyone. She joined an online LGBTQ+ group where she found support and friendship. 🏳️‍⚧️💗

With their help, she decided to come out to her parents, despite fears about their response.

At dinner one night, she shared that she’s always seen herself as a woman and would like to be seen that way, using she/her pronouns.

Her parents reacted harshly. Her dad said she’d never be a “real” woman, and her mom asked if she’d change her name.

They didn’t listen and focused on their own feelings.

She thinks: "Why did I say anything? Things will never get better". 😔💔

She starts to feel hopeless and ashamed.

She feels her chest tighten, like she's holding her breath.

She locks herself in her room and refuses to go to school the next day.

How might she reset her body, so she can figure out next steps?

Stress took her breath away.

What's something she could do to re-regulate and stay grounded? 🌀

Choose as many as you like

How might she think to reflect on her feelings, wants, and needs?

At first she thought, "I shouldn't have said anything".

What would her new self-talk sound like? 💭

Choose as many as you like

How might she act to reflect on her feelings, wants, and needs?

At first, Charlie stays home from school and isolates from friends.

What types of new things would she do? ⚡️

Choose as many as you like

Thank you for helping her 💞

We know it's hard, and that advocating for yourself doesn’t always lead to positive outcomes...

...And your identity is still valid no matter what.

Thanks for sticking with this.

You're almost there, just one more thing...

Think about a time where you experienced stress because you were different from other people.

I was treated differently or poorly based on...

Choose as many as you like

Notice how your body responds to this stress. Earlier, you said you feel stress in "{{field:9fcd39f9-2d03-458c-b9b1-2a1661521425}}".

What is one thing you could do to help reset and feel grounded?

Choose as many as you like

Now, try to reflect how this situation makes you think about yourself.

Choose or share a thought about yourself that you had while experiencing this stress.

Choose as many as you like

Your emotions help you understand how you really feel about a situation. Ignoring them can be harmful over time, so try to let yourself feel without judgment.

This event made me feel...

Then I'll cope by {{field:92e1a716-62aa-49ff-b8c4-2a857b71805e}}, for example: {{field:8b3e7a62-cecc-4f8d-8bca-daace4b851d5}}.

4 GET HELP:

If I ever need it, help is available for crisis.
Call 988 or text 741-741. For LGBTQ-specific resources, try: getsupport.org.

Your action plan looks great!

It's not magic, but it might help you get through a hard moment. And that matters.

And we're glad you're who you are. 🌈✨

Would you like to see examples of online LGBTQ+ spaces?

Great, here are some examples:

Give Us The Floor: LGBTQ+ youth community.

LGBT National Help Center: peer support chat.

Trevor Project: LGBTQ+ crisis resources.

Tumblr: Lots of communities to choose from, like "Queer to the Core".

No problem, thanks for your time today! Click "continue" to finish the course.

Thank you! Almost done, let's finish strong!

Now we’ll ask just a few questions about how you’re feeling right now.

Please share how much you agree or disagree with the following statements based on how you're feeling right now, in this moment.

I feel that the future is hopeless and that things cannot improve.

My future seems dark to me.

Things just won’t work out the way I want them to.

There’s no use in really trying to get something I want, because I probably won’t get it.

At this moment, how ready are you to work towards improving your mental health?

0 Not at all ready

10 Completely ready